I am constantly talking to myself.
OK, I am not totally bat shit crazy like the lady on the corner muttering conspiracy theories to herself or anything.
But I do find myself always in a state of battle with myself, in my own head. The OCD planner in me is constantly fighting to make things work, against all odds. It can be exhausting trying to plan all the time, and make everyone happy. And it can be especially exhausting when you are trying to make a plan for the future when everything it depends on is uncertain. What do I want to do with my life? Where am I going to live once my house sells? How am I going to afford that surfboard I want when I can barely keep up with my utilities bills?
The other side of me, the free spirited artist in me, has no desire to plan whatsoever. What I want to do with my life is to be happy and surround myself with positive people. What I will do when my house sells is find a place and deal with the changes. I will afford that dream longboard once the stars align and the time is right. Or I win the Powerball, whichever comes first. And in the meantime, I will keep making myself happy with simple pleasures and a smile.
Problem is, it isn’t so easy to snap out of OCD planner mode all the time. This week has been a prime example of that. Changes are happening around me and I am having a hard time dealing with them. What has been made clear in the really stressful moments is that a plan doesn’t always help dictate what actually happens. So why plan at all? Being adaptable is far greater of an asset then being able to make and complete a To Do list, when it comes to survival.
That is why, when I came across this little nugget of inspiration, I decided to print it out and post it at my desk as an everyday reminder. Plans, agendas, itineraries, are not the end all be all. Besides, wouldn’t life be boring without spontaneity and surprises?
So if you are feeling up tight, worried, unorganized in any area of your life… just take a deep breath, let it go, and see what happens. The world works in mysterious ways and even if a door gets slammed in your face, there’s always a nearby window to crawl through to the next chapter.
Have a great weekend!